Sunday, April 27, 2014

madrigal







or sunlight through
december fog or the way no
sense can be made from suicide


the idea of forgiveness which
seems to always be with me


what have i done in my life out of
kindness and what have i done
out of vengeance or even just
what have i done?


what have i allowed
others to do?


war becomes the
solution to fear


you fuck with god before
he can fuck with you


gotta mow down the weak
                               the starving
                               those opposed


live your life like a sick dog in
a small cage and
that’s what you become


you hurt
whoever loves you


you dream in shades of
green and grey


can’t spend you whole
useless life just drowning in
the desert but
at least you could try







Sunday, February 23, 2014

suicide weather








static hands and
blood of christ

water in the basement

mold in the walls

no poetry just
             regret

just small acts of
violence strung together
with rusted wire

call it a life and then
you have to live it

have to spend your days
looking through cracked and
warped panes of glass

have to wait for a sun that
never shows itself

and will you crawl like a
dog for the people you
love, and would love even
be the right word here?

how strong can any faith
be when it’s built on the
corpse of a tortured and
murdered innocent man?

empty laughter is as
good an answer
as any











NEW COLLECTION










with such brilliant light pouring from our joyous godless hearts






                                                    ORDER NOW














review of HUMAN CATHEDRALS





HUMAN CATHEDRALS by JOHN SWEET
MICHAEL CAYLO-BARADI Reviews

Human Cathedrals by John Sweet
(Ravenna Press, Washington, 2002)

Crucifixions Without Crosses, Resurrections
Under the steeples of John Sweet’s Human Cathedrals


Human Cathedrals assumes a certain firmness of tone, one that can be mistaken as mournful deliberation that precedes rebellion, or rebellious action. There are many passages that can illustrate this argument; but one particular passage stands out, because of the intertwined vein of courage and casualness that flows beneath its rhythm: “[o]f all the/words i own/the one i refuse/to say is/god” (58). The strongest phrases in this stanza, at least for me, are ‘i own’ and ‘i refuse’; the phrases are declarations of ownership, and a categorical declaration of something toxic in religion. The subject in question is contained in three-letter word: god. It’s crucial to underline the number of letters in the term ‘god,’ because three in Christianity stands for Holy Trinity, the sacred trio of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, summed into one Godhead.

Now quite coincidentally -- on the book’s cover -- in the black and white photograph of an old art deco building in Seattle is a suggestion of this trio; it’s a carved image in the building’s façade, of what appears like three stems: in the middle is a taller stem and to its left and right are two identical stems. On the other hand, while this image of three-some is, unavoidably, loaded with religious connotations, its presence above the title creates an ironic and un-iconic relationship with the title, because the idea of ‘human cathedrals’ presents a subversive platform; cathedrals ought to be juxtaposed on equal hierarchy with holy elements, not the one element that is beneath the sacred: the human.

Thusly, this image of three-some in the cover and the tension it creates with the title presents a gesture that frames the collection’s imagination: that the spectre of organized religion hangs over this collection like halo, not halo of sainthood, but rather that of moral introspection. In this regard, the poems in this collection become a sort of journey into the circulatory system of emotive introspection and examination, a system that doesn’t necessarily constitute or structure unified cathedrals of a specific community but rather distances itself -- as opposed to creating barriers of resistance -- from the notion of cathedrals, of structured and organized belief systems.

In many ways though, the poet’s sense of distantiation from these belief systems -- quite confidently suggested in the refusal to say the word ‘god’ -- can be viewed as the kind of distantiation hoped, exercised, or even forced among members in a family caught in a state of falling apart out of each other. Injecting the idea of family in this discussion is not incidental nor modestly relevant but rather critical, because when one discusses moral intimacies that implicate religion and religious beliefs, one steps into realms wherein the familiar becomes familial. In organized religion, belief functions as blood-line among believers; belief then, becomes critical indicator of kinship.

Now representations of distantiation, in the context of family, are often easy to recognize in amplified and theatrical simplifications: movement from one geographic location to another, absence in usual social gatherings, refusal to accept certain phone calls, refusal to assume connection with certain organizations, or, of course, explicit confession and iteration of commitment or non-commitment on something. On the other hand, when one asks to what extent these representations measure depth of separation, one starts to talk about degrees of separation, because of complexity in the process of separation. Members from any form of family-unit severing membership from that family are often aware of this complexity, because memories about being part of that unit cannot easily be severed.

The voice in this collection comes from that sort of family member, one who has tried to sever ties from a family called Christianity. This collection’s first poem convincingly takes us into that mind-space in “waiting for the day to begin”; and there are, at least, two families suggested that are intertwined here, that of the author’s and Christianity itself:
this is three degrees below
zero
and waiting for the
day to begin

am waiting for the baby
to wake up

for objects to solidify
cast shadows and i am
waiting for christ’s name to pour
like black blood from the
mouths of priests (2)

Something about this passage is almost like a chant for Christmas celebration without lights, or perhaps one transported along the River Styx. Christmas, as we know, celebrates the birth of the Christian messiah. In this birth a Savior has arrived, whose too-familiar story resists biography and history, but rather prefers to define doctrine, one that frames and colonizes world-views.

Now the gothic beauty painted in this passage rests not so much on the stand-in for baby Jesus, but rather on the baby’s duality, both as baby Jesus and the author’s son. But baby Jesus doesn’t wake up here. There is a wait, a long wait, a very cold one that takes us into the number three again, the trinity: “[…]three degrees below / zero”; this temperature somehow suggests the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are submerged below zero: frozen, powerless. No promises of messiahs here; baby Jesus appears dead. But what seals or unifies the darkness in this passage is the voice’s aspiration: “I am / waiting for christ’s name to pour / like black blood from the / mouths of priests.” The scene summoned is now the Holy Communion, the heart of Christian-church services, wherein the priest delivers the body and blood of Christ to the congregation, to God’s people, symbolically, through bread and wine, the ritual of transubstantiation. Furthermore, the idea of Holy Communion is not unique to Christianity; it has a secular dimension. Symbolism has, indeed, preserved the idea and drama behind the secular origins of the Holy Communion, sanitizing the bloodiness and violence involved in the culinary ritual: the taking in of body and blood of a human subject: cannibalism. Thus, the Holy Communion as simulacra of civilized and highly-dramatized cannibalism is holy because the body involved is not that of an ordinary human subject but that of God in human-form: Jesus; his body is the cleansing agent for the bodies and souls who take him. But then when one associates or equates the name of Christ with ‘black blood’, one stops thinking about blessings, but rather contamination, of something viral about the sacred. The equation of Christ and ‘black blood’ flowing out of the ‘mouths of priests’ further emphasizes the vampiric element and nature of the Holy Communion, not from the context of congregation but among priests themselves. Instead of being able to drink the blood of Christ first, before sharing that blood to their congregation, the priests reject Christ’s blood, and vomit it out. The vomited blood is black. The voice in the poem is waiting for this impurity, somehow expecting its flow as form of celebration; it’s not a nice vision of Christianity, because it renders Christ’s blood as toxic, and that the men who preach his gospel somehow have had enough of him, and cannot ingest and digest him anymore in their souls.

John Sweet walks on dark terrains, in this collection, without blinking. Released in 2002, within a year after September 11, 2001, Human Cathedrals can stand as epitaph for things in the human condition, too many to enumerate.

*****

Michael Caylo-Baradi lives in Southern California. His work has appeared in Eclectica Magazine, elimae, Kartika Review, Mannequin Envy, Otoliths, Underground Voices, PopMatters, and forthcoming in Prick of the Spindle.




Wednesday, October 23, 2013

untitled sonnet in the approximate style of k.m.





all the times you come and then the
time you come to say good-bye

this idea of standing
still for thirty years

this poem
which grows from the
one that came before it

which will lead to the one that
comes next and
all of them without subtlety and
all of them without nuance

without meaning but
meaning is overrated anyway

the rich will continue to
slaughter the poor
no matter how many sad little
                         songs we sing

our children will throw out our ashes

our grandchildren will
forget our names

the future has always been the
best place to go to
erase the past






Saturday, July 27, 2013

icebound




nothing left but to
break the baby’s hands

october and then
november
 
blind paths to christ and back roads
littered with corpses and
then this man i know who divorces
one waitress to marry another

who ends up in
a two-room apartment
addicted to self-pity

has three children who no
longer speak to him and the
barrel of a gun in his mouth and
we all hold our breaths
waiting for a happy ending

we all laugh at the prophets
with their tongues cut out

how could they have
not seen this coming?



Sunday, July 07, 2013

mary's house




yellow light into grey,
       end of november,
             almost warm,
          almost hopeful,
and when you’re tired of being an artist or
      when you’re tired of bleeding for minimum wage,
      when you’re tired of sorrow,
                           tired of breathing,
there’s always suicide and
it’s not like i’m telling you something new here

it’s not like i’m saying
anything at all



Saturday, July 06, 2013

scripture




no way to
measure the cost of
god but in human lives

no way to justify the
self-righteous ass-lickers
in their high holy chairs

no way out for
any of us but through
endless rooms of  
                       blood




Monday, June 24, 2013

this rape or that one




and any day in any year with
the starving and the oppressed and the
sound that money makes fucking
                                 other money

the silence of the crowd
before the first shot is fired

not every massacre has
a name and not every problem
has a solution but
listen

every solution will
become the next problem

it’s okay to hate
yourself for being human

it’s human to justify your failures

to make others bleed
for your cowardice

understand this
and then move on
 
 
 

Thursday, June 13, 2013

& you & i, higher





and then late afternoon sunlight
across concrete courtyards
and then the shadows of strangers

the taste of dust settling on flawed glass
and then one hundred thousand
miles of silence

the weight of christ

the dreams of children

almost autumn and hawks circling
 
sweat from yr lover’s breasts
sweet on someone else’s lips

and it’s only a small jump from the
third story window but she lands
wrong and then it’s only the
arrival of lesser truths

the tears we waste for people
we no longer know


Saturday, June 08, 2013

for diane, who i will never meet




and you call
not from the other side of the world
but from only two hours down the highway and
i have nothing to offer but transparent
                                                excuses

my poems are only poems

my truck is leaking oil

february gets beneath the skin
                                    you see
               gets into the blood, cowardice and
               fear and no safety but the safety of
               digging deeper into our burrows
 

and there is no point in mourning
these fatally wounded animals that
show up on our doorsteps,
but we do

we weep
and we read about the men making
crystal meth in trailers on the far sides of
anonymous hills and we read about
the cops that they shoot
and i talk to you for a few minutes
in small, uncomfortable sentences, in
single words and brutal silences

i close my eyes against this
winter sunlight and the
smell of gasoline

against my own cracked and
bleeding hands

maybe next time you say
and i agree and we leave it at that
and five years pass and then ten, a decade
of februaries, of murders and suicides,
of the bodies of newborn babies found in
airport toilets and hotel dumpsters

i stay up too late
 
i yell at my children for minor things and
                                    then apologize and
                          they tell me they love me
 
we walk down to the river and try to
break the ice with whatever rocks we can
pry from the frozen ground

we drive west to the
museum of uncertain blessings

find the doors all locked when we get there,
the windows boarded over
and we can’t think of anywhere else to go,
but i was talking about you, diane,
and i was talking about us

i was talking about ghosts

about the twin histories of
fear and failure

i was waiting for the phone to ring again
so i could have the simple miserable
joy of not answering it


Saturday, June 01, 2013

NU WORK






 
 
 
 
 

wasted lives in january rooms




and on the phone she says
she’s going to kill herself, grey sky and
snow and on the phone she asks you
to come and get the baby, silver sun
smudged just above the treeline,
end of november and too cold to
worry about christ, too late to lament
his obvious failures, and on the phone she
says she’s tired of the pills, says she’s
tired of the broken windows and
dead batteries, burnt smell of dead
engines grinding against the frozen air
and on the phone she says love is a
lie and then she talks about
                              betrayal

says she had a reason for calling

says you were the only one
who answered

laughs and then tells you
she has to go







Friday, May 24, 2013

an eye




all poems starve in
the desert
of your mind

all wars begin with
the idea of god or the
concept of greed

this need to kill
the enemy
which
leads to the need to
create enemies

to become one
 
some stranger in a
windowless room
smiling in antici
pation of the
day i die