river of tears

this is your voice in
the silence between us


these are the ideas of god
and godlessness set
aside


my hands cold and
never holding you


your fears
which have come to define me


being sorry
which is one form of defeat
and what i wait for is
the day
you tell me you hate me


what i believe in are
acts of futility


the hands of saviors
nailed to church doors


anger that can be
directed outwards


and the question
isn't who you'll save but
who you'll let down


and the days are all weights
the truths i give you
look emaciated when placed
against what you've built
in your mind


this person i've become
has to be someone's fault


give me this much at least