Wednesday, September 06, 2023

medication & prayer

 


growing solitude in

the upstairs hallway

 

sound of rain, of

music turned down low

 

3000 miles is too far

 

wouldn’t know where to

find you, or you, or any of

them, and then wouldn’t

know what to say if i did

 

what i fear is

giving too much away

 

my own words, my own

history, turned back against me

 

my oldest son, who loves

the idea of war

 

who loves to shoot and

be shot and then come in

for dinner

 

paces the room in between

bites, talking and laughing

and joking with his brother

 

doesn’t believe that pollock

died for his sins

 

has both his hands, both

his feet, even as the soldiers

keep kicking in doors, and

what i fear is the truth held up

to the light of the afternoon

                                       sun


and i’m sick of not

saying your name

 

am starving on the

rancid meat of regret

 

would gladly put out the

horse’s eyes myself, if the

fucker would just hold still







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