Friday, April 19, 2019

EVERYBODY ON A TRAIN HAS TO GET SOMEWHERE




it was never the moment but

the whole of history leading up to it



my apology arriving too late to save my father



a room of ideas set on fire



nothing of any real importance lost and

the body found in the closet just one more

pointless story with no real moral and

it went like this



the indians wouldn't die fast enough



the gold was worth more than

mothers nursing babies



it tasted like fast food and the children were

always hungry and none of the highways ended

until they'd fell into the ocean



the future arrived with the sound of a

plane hitting the north tower and

then it was gone



we were naked



were rolling in broken glass



called it love because we were

bleeding and then

ten years passed and all we had were scars



all we believed in was money



all i had were my poems



twenty million meaningless words to

hang onto while i drowned




Saturday, April 06, 2019

YOU WERE BORN UNKNOWN, YOU WILL DIE UNKNOWN



Publisher decided to drop this one,
apparently I wasn't keeping up my end promoting it.
I'll probably do a reprint of it one of these days, 
so don't go spending $500 for a copy at some
fly-by-night used book dealer.
Mostly because none of that money
will go to me.








THE FUTURE EMPTY, AND YOU IN THE DISTANT PAST


Friday, April 05, 2019

SCRAWL




hands searching empty

pockets for pills



for your address or your

phone number



any of a hundred thousand different

meaningless addictions on a

grey sunday afternoon and in the

2:00 silence there are all of the sounds

we no longer make and all of the

ones we never hear



in between this collapsing palace and

the distant ebb and flow of

freeway traffic is the field where we

lost van gogh or the one where

pollock lost himself



no rain and then rain and

my youngest son wants to know why

it’s so depressing



asks me while i stand on the

sidewalk looking up at the cracked and

leaking gutter



says he wants to go to

his mother’s house



says he’s afraid of me when i yell but

the phone never rings and the

bills are never paid on time and

the last painting i ever finished was

                                     20 years ago



was a landscape that i painted over a

portrait of the only woman i

ever loved, and then i threw it out

at some point anyway



wore my funeral shoes to my

sister’s wedding



crawled to the river’s edge on the

morning of my father’s death and

vomited up 25 years of resentment



walked back home barefoot



felt good just to bleed for reasons

that were finally my own