THIS WOMAN ROCKS!

Luckily, I've been storing my semen in jars in the basement for years.....

TEXAS MASTURBATION BILL IS NOW IN THE HANDS OF THE TEXAS STATE AFFAIRS COMMITTEE

By Heather Leighton,

 In March, Texas State Rep. Jessica Farrar, D-Houston, filed a bill that would penalize men for "unregulated masturbatory emissions" and the bill has now made its way into the hands of the Texas State Affairs Committee on Tuesday.

The committee is typically the panel that hears abortion-related legislation and it will now address Farrar's House Bill 4620, which is named the "Men's Right to Know Act."

"A lot of people find the bill funny," Farrar told Chron.com in March. "What's not funny are the obstacles that Texas women face every day, that were placed there by legislatures making it very difficult for them to access healthcare."

The bill contains provisions that would put restrictions on masturbation, vasectomies, Viagra prescriptions and colonoscopies, including:

* The state must create a booklet called "A Man's Right to Know" that contains information on the benefits of and risks of vasectomies, Viagra prescriptions and colonoscopies. A man must review the booklet before getting the procedure.

* A doctor must get consent from the man before providing any of the treatments. The man may only get the treatment after waiting 24 hours and reviewing "A Man's Right to Know."

* A man will be fined $100 for "unregulated masturbatory emissions." The fines will benefit children in the care of the Department of Family and Protective Services.

* A man must receive a rectal exam and an MRI of his rectum before receiving treatments.

* A man can't sue a doctor for refusing to provide these treatments if the procedure violates the doctor's "personal, moralistic, or religious beliefs."

* The state must establish a registry of nonprofit organizations and hospitals that provide abstinence counseling, a supervising physician for "masturbatory emissions," and semen storage.

* "Masturbatory emissions" must be stored for the wife to use for conception at a later time.

The bill is a response to the current state law that requires doctor's give women considering an abortion the "A Woman's Right to Know" booklet, which Farrar refers to as a "guilt mechanism."