A WAY TO KILL ONLY THE TRULY DESERVING

man drowning in a second story room

sunlight in january
but no shadows

a young boy
left to die in a locked room

i speak of this too often
i know
but can’t shake the image

can do nothing but
spit on the idea of god
and listen to my son’s quiet breathing
as he sleeps beside me

and i have walked away
from all of my friends
or they have walked away from
whoever i was at the time

i have spent too many hours
reading morning in the burned house
in the darkening light of early evening with
all of my small bitter possessions
gathered tight around me

"we make noise for a reason"
i say
but quietly
and this stranger next to me 
kisses my forehead

she understands how easily
faith
leads to desperation