Saturday, September 03, 2016


So last night, like any good homeowner, I'm standing on my porch roof whaling on the downspout to help loosen the crap in my gutter.  Out of nowhere, I'm swarmed by wasps.  Managed to dive back into my kid's bedroom window and only get stung once before getting the screen closed behind me.

Went downstairs to survey the situation and, holy shit, the little fuckers have built a huge nest beneath the porch eaves that I have obliviously missed all summer long.  Got my spray w/ the 25 foot shooting distance and, mostly to spite PETA, destroyed the nest and all of its stinging inhabitants.

While I was finishing up the job of knocking the soggy mess down, I heard a ruckus around the corner and down the street.  Two guys going nose-to-nose about god knows what, one of them ended up with a big hunting knife, the other seemed to have a sawed off length of broomstick.  I was kind of hoping they'd do some synchronized whittling, but no such luck.

My neighbor was standing next to me, watching it like a tv sporting event, shouting instructions to the guys "No, man!  Just your hands!  Drop the weapons!").

911 was called, the cops arrived before any blood was spilled, the first one on the scene jumped out of his car with his gun drawn screaming "Everyone on the ground!"  Apparently, everyone knew the procedure, they all dropped pretty quick.  Ended up with four village cop cars, two staties and a county sheriff's vehicle.  Also a lot of rubberneckers in cars filming it all for youtube and facebook, one guy from a local news network and all of us neighbors.  Caught up with the lady across the street, she's much more informed on the events of the neighborhood than I am.

Looked like some cars were repo'd later on that night in the same area, not sure what that was all about.

On a positive note, my gutter is clean.

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