Tuesday, September 20, 2016


When I first started getting work published online, I was invited to join a few poetry forums.  The workshop approach to writing has never been my thing (we sociopaths don’t play well with others, as a rule), but I figured What the hell? and decided to give it a try.

The results were about as chock full of hilarity as you can probably imagine.

I was bitched at for not taking the editing advice of others, I was bitched at for not offering enough constructive criticism to others, I was bitched at for stating my belief that repeatedly re-working a poem left you with the literary equivalent of a heavily glazed xmas fruitcake…..

I mentioned on several occasions that workshopping wasn’t a substitute for just getting out there and submitting work.  I said that, after a point, it was just needless procrastination and cowardice.  I was motherfucking Captain Popularity!  I said “Post your work, and I’ll tell you whether or not it works for me.”  What else can you do?  If you rewrite someone else’s poem enough for them, is it still their poem?

An editor at one of the forums made the mistake of deciding to choose a POEM OF THE MONTH, and then went and chose a couple of mine in the first few months.  A few people immediately started screaming about how unfair this was, since I was a “professional” poet and they were just amateurs.  I explained, again, that I was simply a writer who actually submitted his work to magazines instead of posting it on forums for others to fix.  I also explained that the bottom line for me has always been IF YOU DON’T LIKE SOMEONE’S POEM, THEN JUST WRITE A BETTER ONE OF YOUR OWN.
How hard is that?


I obviously eventually left all the forums, and I’m sure no tears were shed.

If it weren't for free porn and youtube videos of teenagers ingesting cinnamon, this whole internet thing would be a complete waste of time....

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